Page 902 - ANNA KARENINA
P. 902
Anna Karenina
be surprised at me. I’m still the same.... But there is
another woman in me, I’m afraid of her: she loved that
man, and I tried to hate you, and could not forget about
her that used to be. I’m not that woman. Now I’m my
real self, all myself. I’m dying now, I know I shall die, ask
him. Even now I feel—see here, the weights on my feet,
on my hands, on my fingers. My fingers—see how huge
they are! But this will soon all be over.... Only one thing I
want: forgive me, forgive me quite. I’m terrible, but my
nurse used to tell me; the holy martyr—what was her
name? She was worse. And I’ll go to Rome; there’s a
wilderness, and there I shall be no trouble to any one, only
I’ll take Seryozha and the little one.... No, you can’t
forgive me! I know, it can’t be forgiven! No, no, go away,
you’re too good!’ She held his hand in one burning hand,
while she pushed him away with the other.
The nervous agitation of Alexey Alexandrovitch kept
increasing, and had by now reached such a point that he
ceased to struggle with it. He suddenly felt that what he
had regarded as nervous agitation was on the contrary a
blissful spiritual condition that gave him all at once a new
happiness he had never known. He did not think that the
Christian law that he had been all his life trying to follow,
enjoined on him to forgive and love his enemies; but a
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