Page 162 - lady-chatterlys-lover

’No difference to what?’ she asked.
’To you and me; to our love for one another. If it’s going
to affect that, then I’m all against it. Why, I might even one
day have a child of my own!’
She looked at him in amazement.
’I mean, it might come back to me one of these days.’
She still stared in amazement, and he was uncomfort-
able.
’So you would not like it if I had a child?’ she said.
’I tell you,’ he replied quickly, like a cornered dog, ‘I am
quite willing, provided it doesn’t touch your love for me. If
it would touch that, I am dead against it.’
Connie could only be silent in cold fear and contempt.
Such talk was really the gabbling of an idiot. He no longer
knew what he was talking about.
’Oh, it wouldn’t make any difference to my feeling for
you,’ she said, with a certain sarcasm.
’There!’ he said. ‘That is the point! In that case I don’t
mind in the least. I mean it would be awfully nice to have
a child running about the house, and feel one was building
up a future for it. I should have something to strive for then,
and I should know it was your child, shouldn’t I, dear? And
it would seem just the same as my own. Because it is you
who count in these matters. You know that, don’t you, dear?
I don’t enter, I am a cypher. You are the great I-am! as far as
life goes. You know that, don’t you? I mean, as far as I am
concerned. I mean, but for you I am absolutely nothing. I
live for your sake and your future. I am nothing to myself’
Connie heard it all with deepening dismay and re-

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