Page 301 - lady-chatterlys-lover

’I’m sorry, from the outside: all the complications and the
ugliness and recrimination that’s bound to come, sooner or
later. That’s when my blood sinks, and I’m low. But when my
blood comes up, I’m glad. I’m even triumphant. I was really
getting bitter. I thought there was no real sex left: never a
woman who’d really ‘’come’’ naturally with a man: except
black women, and somehow, well, we’re white men: and
they’re a bit like mud.’
’And now, are you glad of me?’ she asked.
’Yes! When I can forget the rest. When I can’t forget the
rest, I want to get under the table and die.’
’Why under the table?’
’Why?’ he laughed. ‘Hide, I suppose. Baby!’
’You do seem to have had awful experiences of women,’
she said.
’You see, I couldn’t fool myself. That’s where most men
manage. They take an attitude, and accept a lie. I could nev-
er fool myself. I knew what I wanted with a woman, and I
could never say I’d got it when I hadn’t.’
’But have you got it now?’
’Looks as if I might have.’
’Then why are you so pale and gloomy?’
’Bellyful of remembering: and perhaps afraid of myself.’
She sat in silence. It was growing late.
’And do you think it’s important, a man and a woman?’
she asked him.
’For me it is. For me it’s the core of my life: if I have a right
relation with a woman.’
’And if you didn’t get it?’

00 Lady Chatterly’s Lover