Page 414 - lady-chatterlys-lover

soul sprang towards her too, in the creative act that is far
more than procreative.
She was quite determined now that there should be no
parting between him and her. But the ways and means were
still to settle.
’Did you hate Bertha Coutts?’ she asked him.
’Don’t talk to me about her.’
’Yes! You must let me. Because once you liked her. And
once you were as intimate with her as you are with me. So
you have to tell me. Isn’t it rather terrible, when you’ve been
intimate with her, to hate her so? Why is it?’
’I don’t know. She sort of kept her will ready against
me, always, always: her ghastly female will: her freedom!
A woman’s ghastly freedom that ends in the most beastly
bullying! Oh, she always kept her freedom against me, like
vitriol in my face.’
’But she’s not free of you even now. Does she still love
you?’
’No, no! If she’s not free of me, it’s because she’s got that
mad rage, she must try to bully me.’
’But she must have loved you.’
’No! Well, in specks she did. She was drawn to me. And
I think even that she hated. She loved me in moments. But
she always took it back, and started bullying. Her deepest
desire was to bully me, and there was no altering her. Her
will was wrong, from the first.’
’But perhaps she felt you didn’t really love her, and she
wanted to make you.’
’My God, it was bloody making.’

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