Page 436 - sons-and-lovers

road, his fists clenched; and when he came to the wall over
the lake he leaned there, almost stunned, looking up the
black water.
Miriam plunged home over the meadows. She was not
afraid of people, what they might say; but she dreaded the
issue with him. Yes, she would let him have her if he insist-
ed; and then, when she thought of it afterwards, her heart
went down. He would be disappointed, he would find no
satisfaction, and then he would go away. Yet he was so insis-
tent; and over this, which did not seem so all-important to
her, was their love to break down. After all, he was only like
other men, seeking his satisfaction. Oh, but there was some-
thing more in him, something deeper! She could trust to it,
in spite of all desires. He said that possession was a great
moment in life. All strong emotions concentrated there.
Perhaps it was so. There was something divine in it; then
she would submit, religiously, to the sacrifice. He should
have her. And at the thought her whole body clenched itself
involuntarily, hard, as if against something; but Life forced
her through this gate of suffering, too, and she would sub-
mit. At any rate, it would give him what he wanted, which
was her deepest wish. She brooded and brooded and brood-
ed herself towards accepting him.
He courted her now like a lover. Often, when he grew
hot, she put his face from her, held it between her hands,
and looked in his eyes. He could not meet her gaze. Her
dark eyes, full of love, earnest and searching, made him
turn away. Not for an instant would she let him forget. Back
again he had to torture himself into a sense of his respon-