Page 448 - sons-and-lovers

useless trying: it would never be a success between them.
For some months he had seen very little of Clara. They
had occasionally walked out for half an hour at dinner-
time. But he always reserved himself for Miriam. With
Clara, however, his brow cleared, and he was gay again. She
treated him indulgently, as if he were a child. He thought he
did not mind. But deep below the surface it piqued him.
Sometimes Miriam said:
‘What about Clara? I hear nothing of her lately.’
‘I walked with her about twenty minutes yesterday,’ he
replied.
‘And what did she talk about?’
‘I don’t know. I suppose I did all the jawing—I usually
do. I think I was telling her about the strike, and how the
women took it.’
‘Yes.’
So he gave the account of himself.
But insidiously, without his knowing it, the warmth he
felt for Clara drew him away from Miriam, for whom he felt
responsible, and to whom he felt he belonged. He thought
he was being quite faithful to her. It was not easy to esti-
mate exactly the strength and warmth of one’s feelings for a
woman till they have run away with one.
He began to give more time to his men friends. There
was Jessop, at the art school; Swain, who was chemistry
demonstrator at the university; Newton, who was a teach-
er; besides Edgar and Miriam’s younger brothers. Pleading
work, he sketched and studied with Jessop. He called in the
university for Swain, and the two went ‘down town’ togeth-