Page 622 - sons-and-lovers
P. 622

she said to herself there was no stability about him. He was
         fine in his way, passionate, and able to give her drinks of
         pure life when he was in one mood. And now he looked pal-
         try and insignificant. There was nothing stable about him.
         Her husband had more manly dignity. At any rate HE did
         not waft about with any wind. There was something eva-
         nescent about Morel, she thought, something shifting and
         false. He would never make sure ground for any woman
         to stand on. She despised him rather for his shrinking to-
         gether, getting smaller. Her husband at least was manly, and
         when he was beaten gave in. But this other would never own
         to being beaten. He would shift round and round, prowl, get
         smaller. She despised him. And yet she watched him rather
         than Dawes, and it seemed as if their three fates lay in his
         hands. She hated him for it.
            She seemed to understand better now about men, and
         what they could or would do. She was less afraid of them,
         more sure of herself. That they were not the small egoists
         she had imagined them made her more comfortable. She
         had learned a good deal—almost as much as she wanted to
         learn. Her cup had been full. It was still as full as she could
         carry. On the whole, she would not be sorry when he was
         gone.
            They had dinner, and sat eating nuts and drinking by
         the fire. Not a serious word had been spoken. Yet Clara re-
         alised that Morel was withdrawing from the circle, leaving
         her the option to stay with her husband. It angered her. He
         was a mean fellow, after all, to take what he wanted and then
         give her back. She did not remember that she herself had

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