Page 830 - the-brothers-karamazov
P. 830

put it apart from the rest of the three thousand,’ said Mitya
       firmly.
         ‘Why?’  smiled  the  prosecutor  irritably.  ‘What  is  there
       disgraceful, to your thinking, in your having set aside half
       of the three thousand you had discreditably, if you prefer,
       ‘disgracefully,’  appropriated?  Your  taking  the  three  thou-
       sand is more important than what you did with it. And by
       the way, why did you do that — why did you set apart that
       half, for what purpose, for what object did you do it? Can
       you explain that to us?’
         ‘Oh, gentlemen, the purpose is the whole point!’ cried
       Mitya. ‘I put it aside because I was vile, that is, because I
       was calculating, and to be calculating in such a case is vile...
       and that vileness has been going on a whole month.’
         ‘It’s incomprehensible.’
         ‘I wonder at you. But I’ll make it clearer. Perhaps it really
       is incomprehensible. You see, attend to what I say. I appro-
       priate three thousand entrusted to my honour; I spend it on
       a spree, say I spend it all, and next morning I go to her and
       say,  ‘Katya,  I’ve  done  wrong,  I’ve  squandered  your  three
       thousand’; well, is that right? No, it’s not right — it’s dis-
       honest and cowardly; I’m a beast, with no more self-control
       than a beast, that’s so, isn’t it? But still I’m not a thief? Not
       a downright thief, you’ll admit! I squandered it, but I didn’t
       steal it. Now a second, rather more favourable alternative:
       follow  me  carefully,  or  I  may  get  confused  again  —  my
       head’s going round — and so, for the second alternative: I
       spend here only fifteen hundred out of the three thousand,
       that is, only half. Next day I go and take that half to her:
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