Page 963 - the-brothers-karamazov

fancy of a sick child who had been so long confined to her
chair — thank God, she can walk now!... that-new doctor
Katya sent for from Moscow for your unhappy brother, who
will to-morrow — but why speak of to-morrow? I am ready
to die at the very thought of to-morrow. Ready to die of cu-
riosity.... That doctor was with us yesterday and saw Lise....
I paid him fifty roubles for the visit. But that’s not the point,
that’s not the point again. You see, I’m mixing everything
up. I am in such a hurry. Why am I in a hurry? I don’t under-
stand. It’s awful how I seem growing unable to understand
anything. Everything seems mixed up in a sort of tangle. I
am afraid you are so bored you will jump up and run away,
and that will be all I shall see of you. Goodness! Why are we
sitting here and no coffee? Yulia, Glafira, coffee!’
Alyosha made haste to thank her, and said that he had
only just had coffee.
‘Where?’
‘At Agrfena Alexandrovna’s.’
‘At... at that woman’s? Ah, it’s she has brought ruin on
everyone. I know nothing about it though. They say she has
become a saint, though it’s rather late in the day. She had
better have done it before. What use is it now? Hush, hush,
Alexey Fyodorovitch, for I have so much to say to you that I
am afraid I shall tell you nothing. This awful trial... I shall
certainly go, I am making arrangements. I shall be carried
there in my chair; besides I can sit up. I shall have people
with me. And, you know, I am a witness. How shall I speak,
how shall I speak? I don’t know what I shall say. One has to
take an oath, hasn’t one?’

The Brothers Karamazov