Page 984 - the-brothers-karamazov

‘He doesn’t despise anyone,’ Alyosha went on. ‘Only he
does not believe anyone. If he doesn’t believe in people, of
course, he does despise them.’
‘Then he despises me, me?’
‘You, too.’
‘Good.’ Lise seemed to grind her teeth. ‘When he went
out laughing, I felt that it was nice to be despised. The child
with fingers cut off is nice, and to be despised is nice..’
And she laughed in Alyosha’s face, a feverish malicious
laugh.
‘Do you know, Alyosha, do you know, I should like —
Alyosha, save me!’ She suddenly jumped from the couch,
rushed to him and seized him with both hands. ‘Save me!’
she almost groaned. ‘Is there anyone in the world I could
tell what I’ve told you? I’ve told you the truth, the truth. I
shall kill myself, because I loathe everything! I don’t want
to live, because I loathe everything! I loathe everything, ev-
erything. Alyosha, why don’t you love me in the least?’ she
finished in a frenzy.
‘But I do love you!’ answered Alyosha warmly.
‘And will you weep over me, will you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Not because I won’t be your wife, but simply weep for
me?’
‘Yes.’
‘Thank you! It’s only your tears I want. Everyone else may
punish me and trample me under foot, everyone, everyone,
not excepting anyone. For I don’t love anyone. Do you hear,
not anyone! On the contrary, I hate him! Go, Alyosha; it’s