Page 1148 - les-miserables

CHAPTER VI

RES ANGUSTA

That evening left Marius profoundly shaken, and with a
melancholy shadow in his soul. He felt what the earth may
possibly feel, at the moment when it is torn open with the
iron, in order that grain may be deposited within it; it feels
only the wound; the quiver of the germ and the joy of the
fruit only arrive later.
Marius was gloomy. He had but just acquired a faith;
must he then reject it already? He affirmed to himself that
he would not. He declared to himself that he would not
doubt, and he began to doubt in spite of himself. To stand
between two religions, from one of which you have not as
yet emerged, and another into which you have not yet en-
tered, is intolerable; and twilight is pleasing only to bat-like
souls. Marius was clear-eyed, and he required the true light.
The half-lights of doubt pained him. Whatever may have
been his desire to remain where he was, he could not halt
there, he was irresistibly constrained to continue, to ad-
vance, to examine, to think, to march further. Whither
would this lead him? He feared, after having taken so many
steps which had brought him nearer to his father, to now

1148 Les Miserables