Page 29 - WTP Vol. IX #8

It takes a lifetime. Which is the truth. And they never know quite what to say to that. So the con- versation usually ends there.
After Marina’s partials were adjusted, and read- justed, and readjusted again, the dentist telling her each time to bite down on the articulating pa- per—tap-tap-tap—then grind back and forth (two A-handshapes, knuckles rubbing sideways), they finally fit perfectly. And she gave him the thumbs- up. Then he stepped on the foot control and raised her up again, and she emerged, as from the sea (there was quite a sea change), with a big toothy grin lighting up her face. It was such a transforma- tion that I practically didn’t recognize her, espe- cially when she started signing. “Thank you so much,” she signed to the dentist, mouthing each word clearly enough to make Horace Mann proud. “It’s so good to get my teeth back. I feel like my old self again. And at the same time, I feel like a brand new person.” And she looked like a brand new person. Her mouth kept opening and closing, teeth flashing, tongue doing its Clark School gymnastics. The transition from tight-lipped ASL to tongue- flapping English elocution was astounding. But
the dentist didn’t understand her. Because I wasn’t interpreting. I was just staring at her, astonished at the metamorphosis, my own mouth wide open, chin resting figuratively on the floor, which in ASL is properly signed with two bent-V handshapes, and could either be translated as flabbergasted or gobsmacked, or, perhaps more aptly, dumbfounded.
~
I don’t know the etymology of the sign UNDER- STAND, but it kind of looks like a light bulb lighting up near your head, like in the cartoons when the character gets an idea or has an epiphany. So it feels sort of iconic, i.e. it looks like what it represents.
That said, someone who doesn’t know ASL will not understand the sign UNDERSTAND when they see it, either isolated or in a sentence. They won’t under- stand if they are asked by a Deaf person signing to them in ASL: UNDERSTAND-ME YOU? It’s only when you know what the signs mean that some of them start to look a little iconic. But ASL is not a system of transparently iconic signs. If it were, I would be out of a job. Because if it were, everyone would be able to understand Deaf people all of the time. Even me.
But here’s the thing. Here’s what I’ve learned in all these years of working as an interpreter. Here’s my light bulb, my epiphany. We think we understand each other and we say we understand each other,
but how often do we really and truly understand anything about each other or ourselves or the world? I think for the most part we DON’T understand. We don’t understand anything. But we carry on as if we did. It’s a kind of denial we all live in, not unlike the denial of death: We know we will die one day, but we live in a kind of denial of death on a daily basis. For
to really understand that we die, to internalize it, to know it deep down, grasp it and feel it, would per- haps so paralyze us with fear that we could not live. Or, conversely, perhaps it would help us to live more truly, closer to life. Either way, we would certainly live differently. And in the same way, to truly understand that on some level we do NOT understand anything or anyone at all—really not at all!—would so dev- astate us that it would foreclose all communication. So we carry on as if. As if we do not die. As if we do understand. Ourselves and each other and the world. And we make a pretty good show of it. On that level,
I suppose, we are communicating. On that level we understand. But maybe, just maybe, understanding
is overrated. Maybe not understanding is ultimately perfectly OK. And if you don’t understand where I’m going with this, what I’m getting at here, well, that’s OK too. Because you’re not alone. You are not alone in your not understanding. And that’s perfectly beauti- fully, utterly overwhelmingly, OK.
Hostovsky’s latest book of poems is Mostly (FutureCycle Press, 2021). He has won a Pushcart Prize, two Best of the Net Awards, and has been featured on Poetry Daily, Verse Daily, and The Writer’s Almanac.
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