Page 76 - WTP Vol. X #7

GasCo (continued from preceding page)
have to lie any more than I already was.
Paul looked outside. “He probably won’t be back anyway. That’s how we’ll know he’s guilty.”
I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I needed to find Tony before they did.
~
He was under the overpass, where a few other homeless people were asleep under blankets with
all their stuff piled around them. He came over when he saw me, and seemed a little hurt when he realized how mad I was at him.
“How the hell could you do that to me?” I said. “I could lose my job for letting you in there.”
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I won’t say nothing. I’m done with that place anyway.”
I sighed and looked around at this shithole where he slept. “That’s not the point,” I said. “Don’t you get it....”
I took a moment because I was just so damn frustrated with him for wasting his chance with me. I wouldn’t give him another one, even though I wanted to. And I was the only one who would, which meant he’d probably get no more chances.
“All you had to do was not steal anything and you could have worked there. I told you that. You can trust me.”
“I trust you just fine. I don’t trust them, and they own you. You can’t afford to lose your job over me—best if I’m not there anyway. Fuck GasCo.”
“Dammit, Tony,” I said, raising my voice now. “I don’t like ‘em either, but I still go to work. If you just keep your head down and do your job, it’s not so bad. You could have saved enough money to not have to live out here.”
“Man,” said Tony, “why do you have to tell me what I want?”
We were about three or four feet apart, on either side of that little flat area between the concrete inclines.
I had my hands on my hips, not sure what else to do. He was really intent now, gesturing while he talked.
“You hate that guy,” he said. “Hate his guts. I know you hate him. Right?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“They took your store away from you, make you follow all their rules, wear that fucking shirt every day. Well, I did what you couldn’t: I stuck it to ‘em.”
“You didn’t do me a fucking favor, Tony. You just proved that asshole right.”
I looked down at my shoes, getting wet in the gross puddles of water that were still there from the night before. I hoped they weren’t ruined.
It was disgusting out there, trash all over the place. I could not believe that this was good enough for Tony. He was so smart, so nice... it’s not like it would have taken that much for him
to be something. I’d watched him for years, and I knew he had more in him. He shouldn’t give up. I wanted to tell him so.
“Why can’t you just...”
“Why can’t I just what? Be happy with what they give me?”
I didn’t know what to say. I tried.
“Just not fight it so hard. You could have a decent life if you’d settle down.”
“Pops, you sound just like everybody else.” Suddenly it seemed like he knew a lot more than me, like I was in his world now, and he was the expert.
“People tell me I’m too lazy to work,” he said. “Like that’s my problem.” He looked past me and shook his head, then looked me right in the eyes; his were red around the sides, like they always were.
“I’m lazy? You tell me that if I’m ever going to have anything, I have to go work for the white man. The same white man who stares at me when I’m in his store because he thinks I’m stealing? The white man who’s been bossing people like me around, taking whatever he wants, for years and years?
“I have to go work for the white man because he’s the only one with the jobs, because he’s already got all the money. He had more than I’ll ever have before I even got started, and he acts like he’s doing me charity because he needs somebody to do the work for him. Pretends like I’ve got choices. I haven’t got choices. I can either steal from him or work by his rules. Fuck that. I’ll take what I need.”
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