Page 12 - MARCH2023

Page 12
Healthy Living
ContRiButeD By: neWfounD Coalition foR youth
Talking to your child about drugs and alcohol is undeniably a difficult conversation. Often, the hardest part is starting the con- versation. It is important to get in the right frame of mind and set the stage for an effective conver- sation about substances. Here are some strategies to do so.
Keep an open mind. If you want to have a productive
NEWFOUNDLAKELIFE.COM
March 2023
Parenting for Prevention
conversation with your teen, one thing to keep in mind is that when children feel judged or con- demned, they are less likely to be receptive to your message. To achieve the best outcome for you and your teen, try to preserve a position of objectivity and open- ness. This is challenging and may take practice.
Put yourself in your child’s shoes. For instance, consider how you would prefer
to be addressed when speaking about a difficult subject. It might be helpful to think about how you felt when you were a tween or teen.
Be clear about your goals. It may help to write them down. Once you know what you would like to get from the conversation, you can look back at these after- ward and review what went right, what went wrong, what goals were met, which ones were saved
for a later date and whether you were able to deliver your message effectively.
Be calm and relaxed. If you approach your teen with anger or panic, it will make it harder to achieve your goals. If you are anxious about having this conversation, find some things to do that will help you relax before- hand.
Be positive. If you approach the situation with shame, anger,
scare tactics or disappointment, your efforts will be counterpro- ductive. Instead, be attentive, curious, respectful, and under- standing.
Don’t lecture. Keep in mind that if you had earlier conversa- tions with your child, he or she already knows that you disap- prove of substance use. To lec- ture about this will most likely lead to your child shutting down, tuning you out, or anger. It could be misinterpreted as disapproval of your child instead of his or her actions, which can lead to shame and, in turn, more substance use. Using force to stop something from happening (“You can’t, be- cause I’m your parent and I said so”) is highly ineffective and can lead to more frustration. Best to try to avoid pulling rank when- ever possible.
Find a comfortable set- ting. Announcing a sit-down meeting (“We need to have a talk after dinner”) will usually be met with resistance, while a more spontaneous, casual approach will lower anxiety for your child and maybe even your own. Per- haps this means taking a walk together or sitting in the yard or park. Look for a place that feels less confined but not too distract-
ingB. e aware of body lan- guage. If your teen is sitting, you want to be sitting as well. If she is standing, ask her to sit down with you. Be mindful of finger-pointing and crossed arms; these are closed ges- tures, while uncrossed legs and a relaxed posture are open gestures. For more informa- tion on how to help your teen make healthy choices, visit cadyinc.org. If you, or some- one you know, struggles with substance misuse or addiction, please call 2-1-1 or the Doorway at (934-8905) for help. You can also connect with Plymouth Area Recovery Connection (PARC), our local recovery center, lo- cated at Whole Village Family Resource Center in Plymouth at info@parcnh.org or 238-3555.
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