Page 13 - Storytelling - Storylistening

IV. Listening: The Silent Half of Reminiscing and Storytelling Guidelines for Listening from the Heart*
1. Suspend assumptions. When you are surprised, upset or annoyed by something someone is saying, these are clues you may be making assumptions.
2. Express your personal response informed by your traditions, beliefs and practices. Take ownership of what you say. Speak for yourself, using “I” language rather than “we all,” “everyone says,” or “you know.”
3. Listen and speak without judgment. The purpose of dialogue is to come to an understanding of the other, not to determine whether he or she is good, bad, right or wrong.
4. Suspend status. Everyone is an equal partner in the inquiry. There is no seniority or hierarchy.
5. Honor confidentiality. Leave the names of the participants in the room so that if you share stories or ideas,
their identities are not revealed. Create a safe space for self-expression. Avoid gossip.
6. Listen for understanding, not agreement or belief.
7. Ask clarifying or open-ended questions to assist your understanding and to explore assumptions. Watch out for questions with your own agenda embedded in them.
8. Honor silence and time for reflection. Notice what wants to be said rather than what you want to say. Allow time to take in what has been said.
9. One person speaks at a time.
(*Adapted from Practicing the Sacred Art of Listening with permission by the author.)
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©Action Pact, Inc.2005-2006 Porch Swing SeriesTM Culture Change Workbooks