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Creating a healthy personality
The fulfilment and enjoyment you will get out of your human relationships is directly affected by the healthy personality you create for yourself. If you have
the necessary elements of a healthy personality, people will be drawn to those elements and will want to be in your company.
Conversely, if you possess few or none of the characteristics of a healthy personality people will be less likely to feel the desire to want to be around you.
Some of the essentials of a healthy personality are :-
• The degree to which you deliberately look for the good in each person and each situation.
• The degree to which you can freely forgive people who have hurt you in some way.
• The degree to which you can get along easily with many different kinds of people.
• The degree to which you like and respect yourself. The more you like and respect yourself, the more you will like and respect others.
• The degree to which you consider yourself to be a valuable and worthwhile person, the more you will consider others to be valuable and worthwhile
as well.
• The more you accept yourself just as you are, the more you accept others just as they are.
• The degree to which you have high levels of self-esteem will determine the level to which you will get along with almost anyone, anywhere and in
almost any situation. Men and women with low self-esteem can only get along with a few people, and can’t seem to maintain it for very long. Their
low self-regard manifests itself in negative emotions and behaviours. They don't like themselves so they don't really like the intrusion of others outside
of their comfort zone. As a result, people don't warm to them very much either.
• The degree to which you can become an agreeable individual to be around, able to converse on a variety of subjects, nodding and smiling with those
you are talking to will affect how positively your personality is viewed. People like agreeable people. Disagreeable people lower the self esteem of
people they encounter, and the tendency is set up in opposition to them or simply avoid them. "A man convinced against his will remains of the same
opinion still." This does not mean you should become a “Yes-man”, there are more diplomatic and gentle ways of getting someone to re-assess his view
or opinion, without damaging their self-esteem.
• A characteristic that displays a healthy personality and also builds the self esteem of others is to practice acceptance. From birth, we humans have
needed acceptance, and this carries forward into adulthood and our human relationships. We have an inbuilt need to be accepted (not necessarily
approved of) by others that we meet. This is a good practice to get into for both parties in the relationship.
• Never underestimate the power of your smile. It is the best form of universal social acceptance known to man. Smiling displays acceptance which in
turn boosts the self esteem of all who receive it. It costs you nothing and yet can reap so much in return, not least of which is a healthier personality
even more attractive for the human relationships you want to have.
• The power of appreciation, an attitude of gratitude goes a long way to foster healthy relationships and build healthier personalities. A simple thank- Page332
you raises the self-esteem of others immeasurably. The happiest and most popular people are those who genuinely express appreciation and gratitude