Page 23 - GALIET BENEATH THE ICON: The Lamp Dostoevsky´s Kirillov IV

To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause.”34
Even to his very last moment, Kirillov continues to “give us pause” as he kills himself while still tormented by doubts of God, of Truth, of Being versus Unbeing. Kirillov’s struggle is the epitome of our existential struggle between meaning and unmeaning. As Shneidman suggests, had Kirillov been either a confirmed atheist or a fervent believer, God would not have tormented him so for Kirillov would be either faced with rejecting him or accepting him. But to dwell in penumbra and twilight is hellish.
Sadly, as we pause, we become inundated with a terrible sense of loss that continues to pervade our materialist world in its daily struggle to find meaning and immanence. Although under such deplorable circumstances, we can’t help but hope for a better world, for a better me, for a better you, for a better us praying would be too easy. Rather we must act and point our hearts to love. When we are under such spells of love, it is unbearable to criticize Kirillov for we cannot see him separated from our own very souls. To become moved by Kirillov’s humanity, by his sacrifice, our own loss, is a gift of perception.
34 G. R. Hibbard, ed., Hamlet. Oxford: Oxford University, 1998. 241.
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