Page 66 - GBC winter 2015

As David Feherty embarks on his new journey with NBC Sports after being with CBS Sports for the past 19 years, Golf Business Canada presents some of his most classic lines from various TV broadcasts that are sure to put a smile on your face.
On his decision to give up his playing career in favour of a microphone: “When CBS came to me and asked me to do on-course commentary, I said, ‘You know, I’m only 37, I still have hopes of [playing] a little better.’ So, they told me what they were going to pay me, and I said, ‘You want to buy a set of clubs?’ “
On giving up alcohol: “I didn’t quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it’s not even a challenge.”
On Tiger Woods: The first time he ever watched Woods play, Feherty examined the lie Tiger had in the trees, where he’d hit the ball into deep rough alongside a large root, and said on-air that the only available play was to wedge out sideways. Tiger promptly hit a
66Golf Business Canada
The Parting Shot
From the Mouth of David Feherty
David Feherty performing live in July 2015 during his Feherty Off Tour – Wandering Around On His Own show, which included stops in Ottawa, Sudbury and Mississauga, ON. www.fehertyofftour.com Photo © Val Webster
towering 200-plus-yard, sweeping slice with a 2-iron that rolled to within 12 feet of the flag. Feherty recalled the moment: “I just stood there watching him walk past and thinking, ‘I don’t know what that is, but I know there weren’t two of them on Noah’s Ark.’ “
On his caddie, Rodney Wooler, and him being on the same page: “Not only was Rodney never on the same page as me, he was seldom in the same book and often not even in the same library.”
On an errant shot: “That ball is so far left Lassie couldn’t find it even if it was wrapped in bacon.”
On a beautiful day of weather at Augusta National during the Masters: “Theonlywaytoruinadaylikethis would be to play golf in it.”
On the ups and downs of a typical round of golf: “One minute you’re bleeding. The next minute you’re hemorrhaging. The next minute you’re painting the Mona Lisa.”
On Rory McIlroy’s wrist injury: “Fortunately, he is 22 years old, so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”
On Phil Mickelson: “Watching him play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”
On watching Tiger Woods hit a great shot: “Never has my flabber been so completely gasted.”
On the Ryder Cup: “Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.”
On losing weight: “I lost 150 lbs., if you include my wife.”
On his next adventure: “After 19 great years at CBS, today I’ve signed a new deal with @GolfChannel and @NBCSports. Which one of them will fire me first?” - David Feherty@ Fehertwit Sep 15
David Feherty
David is a former professional golfer on the European Tour and PGA Tour. He now works as a writer and broadcaster with NBC Sports, and has his own weekly primetime talk show “Feherty” on the Golf Channel. Follow him on Twitter at @Fehertwit.