Page 12 - elev8 mag 2018

Stronger Together
Jimmy and Wumi’s Experience
from the Couples' Retreat
Charles Okorobo & Tolulope Oyekan
23 | The Elevation Church
elev8 magazine 2018.indd
get it right. At the retreat, I got to Are there new discoveries about Where would be your preferred
your spouse that you were not
destination for the next couples
know some other couples were
having the same issue, and that
aware of?
retreat?
to learn from the experiences of
changed my perspective. I was able Wumi: At the retreat, PG taught Wumi: I would prefer somewhere
outside Lagos. I enjoyed our trip to
other couples present. Our amazing us about fillers and drainers; it was
facilitators also gave us workable a new discovery for me because Abeokuta last year; the few hours
ideas on how to improve on our prior to the retreat, I never knew we spent journeying gave us the
communication, which has been of some of my fillers were actually my opportunity to bond as a couple
great benefit to us post retreat husband’s drainers and vice-versa. and to relate with other couples. As
he Couples Retreat is a and she was a fresher (a ‘Jambite’ . a matter of fact, some of the friends
Family Life initiative of The LOL). Jimmy: The retreat was such an Jimmy: Not exactly. I have always we have in church now were people
TElevation Church, focused eye opener. I learnt about openness known and seen her strengths and we met while on that trip.
on building strong marriages. The Wumi: We met at the school and how to share and accept the weaknesses in display, so nothing
aim of the retreat is to take couples fellowship, but we couldn’t start weaknesses of my spouse. really new came up. What advice would you give to
away from the many distractions dating immediately as we were young couples?
of life to a place where, through both serving executives in the How have you displayed your love
guided counsel, they are able to fellowship and the rules prohibited language post retreat? Jimmy: In mathematics, minus
retrace their steps towards a state leaders from dating while serving. times minus gives plus, but this
of deeper trust and vulnerability in However, he made his intentions Wumi: There’s been a lot of mathematical axiom doesn’t apply
their marriages. Marriages today known before leaving school and improvement. Currently, I’m more in marriage. Therefore, you should
come with a lot of distractions: after his graduation, we ignited that intentional about loving and caring not expect two imperfect people to
life experiences, our backgrounds, thing we felt for each other. for my husband. I call him more come together and automatically
finance, children, family, in-laws, Our marital journey hasn’t been so often during the day just to check become perfect, but rather, we
jobs, friends, social media, habits, smooth; we’ve had our highs and on him – something I wasn’t really get this perfection by working at
etc., all of which can chip away at lows. We’ve had happy times when doing previously. He does the same it and understanding each other’s
the plans and hopes for complete the love was really ‘shacking’ us and too and this has greatly improved weaknesses.
trust and vulnerability in marriage, we’ve had times when we couldn’t our communication.
as originally intended by God. see eye to eye, but through it all, Wumi: Openness should be the
The retreat is therefore basically an God and the word we received at What plans do you have for rule in your marriage. There
avenue to bring couples together to the beginning of our relationship Christmas together? shouldn’t be any bottling up of
sort out issues they don’t normally (Ecclesiastes 3:14) have kept us negative emotions. You need to
talk about and build the gap created going. Wumi: Usually we travel every be open to each other as much as
by overwhelming busy schedules. Christmas to spend time with our possible – no subject should be off
It features real talks on issues Why did you register for the extended family members but this limits. Be patient, give room for
of intimacy, honesty, parenting, retreat? year, we intend to spend it alone each other’s excesses and trust God
communication, conflict, sex, with the kids. for the best in your marriage.
finance, etc. The retreat is open Wumi: Two reasons basically: in
to any interested couple within or our 10 years of marriage, we’ve Do you have relationship
outside the sphere of The Elevation never attended a marriage retreat mentors? If yes, how has that
Church. and secondly, I wanted some time impacted positively on your
Mr. & Mrs. Mokikan attended this alone with my husband and the marriage?
year’s retreat and we were able retreat was that opportunity to
to catch up with them for a chat. achieve the escape from those Jimmy: No, but we have an
Excerpts below: necessary demands which didn’t accountability group, which
give us much time to ourselves. comprises of other Christian
Tell us a little about yourselves, couples. The group has impacted
how you met, and how your Jimmy: I saw it as an opportunity our marriage positively as it
marital journey has been so far. for us to learn things that could gives us the opportunity to open
make our marriage better. up on issues and address them
Jimmy: I am Jimmy Mokikan and accordingly.
my wife is Omowumi Mokikan. What new things did you learn?
We’ve been married for over 10 Wumi:
years and our marriage is blessed Prior to the retreat, communication
with 2 children. I met my wife in was a big challenge in our
school, when I was in my final year marriage; we just seemed not to
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