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be Hell. I think he was giving me the tour. I asked Satan if he knew God as a child, and he says yes,
               he did, that they were practically born on the same day at the same time in the same place. He goes
               on to tell me about how good and evil are one in the same. That nothing is purely good, and
               nothing is purely evil. That every thing is purely perception. That we were designed to feel we
               needed to distinguish the two.

               Sometime later he's telling me a story from his childhood, one that included God. He's telling me
               about how they had just received responsibility on a new project, and they had come to their first
               big decision. Child Satan and Child God have to decide whether to set the universe on six or to set
               the universe on seven. Or to set the universe on both six and seven, however doing such a thing
               may cause later complications.

               Child Satan wants to set the universe on both six and seven as a means to endure trial and error so
               that the final project may be one hundred percent perfect. He wants all the details. Child Satan
               wants to witness any possible complications that may arise, however Child God explains that they
               have limited time to complete the project and that going through all the possible complications
               would simply be impossible.

               Child Satan, submitting himself to logic, agrees to what Child God has said, and they decide to set
               the universe on seven to maintain an order, some type of peace. Much time passes, and much work
               and effort has gone into the project, and by now Child Satan and Child God are now referred to as
               Adult Satan and Adult God.

               As they continue to work on the project they come across a part of the project that involves actually
               creating the life forms that would habitat the universe they have created. Eventually they get stuck
               when they have to figure out how, what we know as DNA now, will work in these life forms.
               Because life forms can only be set on six, and because they have already set the universe on seven,
               Adult Satan and Adult God spend centuries attempting to find a solution. Eventually Old God
               would suggest free will to Old Satan, but Old Satan would not agree. Old Satan's first argument is
               that giving the life forms free will will allow them to end their own existence. One might think
               twice upon hearing Satan argue for the safety of humans and all things that live, but as it has been
               said before, "one seldom recognizes the devil when he has his hand on your shoulder."

               "Knock knock," the apartment door says. I open the door and it's Mary. She hands me an envelope,
               it was mail that was accidentally put in her mailbox. I look up and say thanks, and I can't help but
               notice how sick she looks. She gives me a look as if it were my fault and walks away; I am almost
               positive that as soon as she gets in her apartment she is going straight to the bathroom for purposes
               of vomiting and diarrhea.

               The mail is from some Abraham Lincoln fundraiser thing. Lincoln has always interested me in
               many ways, but I'm not big on charity. I throw the envelope in the garbage and then begin to think
               about a story that has been told about Lincoln for many years. How one week before his death, he
               had a dream of someone crying in the White House because someone had died, and when he asked
               that person who it was who had passed away, the person told him that it was the president. Lincoln
               walked over to the coffin, and when he looked inside, it was his own face that he saw.
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