Page 17 - eBook Living Water 2

later on in life. These all have become important landmarks when I
look back on my life’s journey, as I do believe that God had always
been there, trying to get my attention.

3 Flunking Out On Life

Returning back to 1961, at 18 years of age, and hopefully
fortified with my Milltown prescription, I took off for Beaver
College, a girls’ school north of Philadelphia. I was terrified and soon
began to use many more pills than prescribed. Knowing I wouldn’t
be able to refill the prescription too often without raising suspicion, I
began buying liquor (lying that I was twenty-one) that I hid in my
dorm room which I drank in between using the pills. During really
difficult times I would mix them together to the point that I would end
up feeling like a “zombie”.

At the end of my freshman year, I received a letter informing
me that I couldn’t return as a sophomore, due to my below par grade
average. My parents convinced me to sign up for the local Monmouth
College in the fall. I lasted only two weeks before dropping out.
Embarrassment and humiliation were heaped onto my already heavy
load of other emotional problems, and I spent the next nine months
battling a dark depression that left me unable to function well, much
less hold a job.

I began weekly counseling sessions with a nice, caring Jewish
therapist. He was like a wise and loving parent. He got me to express
the hurt and anger I had buried inside myself for so long, and I
learned that telling my truth was a good thing.

By June 1962 I felt well enough to handle a job and began
working at the Jersey Central Power and Light Company. However,
my struggles to relate well within groups of people continued to haunt
me there. There was an employee named Donnie who took a special
interest in me. He was 27 and married. He claimed it hadn’t been a
real marriage for years. I was 19 and attracted to him. It was nice to