Page 11 - eMuse Vol.9 No.10_Neat

Bernice

Pitt - Jones

Bicycle

‘Twas Bernice Pitt-Jones, (man she could talk), that caught the cy-
cling craze;
She turned away a brand new Merc that served her many days;
She dressed herself in cycling gear; lycra blue and green; Artists, Clubs, Festivals, Musicians and the
She scurried off to GIANT and bought a shining new machine; audience with our updated “One Stop” di-
And as she wheeled it out the door, with air of lordly pride rectory. The directory will feature:
The knowing shop assistant said, “Excuse me, can you ride?”
• Artists – Musicians
“See here her, young man,” said Bernice P-J, “From Balmoral to
the sea, • Music Festivals – Cruises - Holidays
From Cunningham’s Gap to Hamilton Heights, there’s none can • Talent Quests – Judges – Comperes
ride like me. • Music Clubs – Venues
I’m good all round at everything as everybody knows, • Promoters – Agents – Managers - Merchandise
Although I’m not the one to talk — I hate a girl that blows. • Photograhers – Graphic Designers
But riding is my special gift, my dearest sole delight; • Radio/Announcers/Programs - Recording Studio’s – Filming
Just ask a marlin can it swim, a poodle can it fight. Studio’s
There’s nothing clothed in hair or hide, or made of flesh or steel, • Vocal Coaches – Songwriting – Chart Writing - Teachers
There’s nothing walks or jumps, or runs, on axle, cog, or wheel,
But what I sit, while body will hold and cleats and straps are tight; What does $25 per year get you?
I’ll ride this jolly two-wheeled concern fair straight away at Sight.” • Listing on the directory (Up to 3 categories per client) Eg;
you could be listed as Artist a Musician and an MC
‘Twas Bernice Pitt-Jones, (hell she could talk), that sought her own
abode, • Links directed to your social media pages. Weekly updates
That perched above Enoggera creek, beside the Settlement Road. to your listing
She turned the cycle down the hill and mounted for the fray, • Presence on a well established high traffic website looking
But ‘ere she’d gone a centimetre it bolted clean away. specifically for your service
It left the track, and thought the trees, just like a silver streak, For less than 50c per week, you can be active on the website
It whistled down that awful slope towards Enoggera Creek. that showcases the music industry.
It shaved a stump by 15 mills, it dodged a big white post; Contact Tracy today to join this exciting directory and stay top of
The bearded water lizards in fright went scrambling up the rock, mind. Email – dandtrobinson@westnet.com.au
The wombats digging in their holes dug deeper underground,
As Bernice Pitt-Jones, as white as chalk, sat tight with every bound.
It struck a stone and gave a spring that cleared a fallen tree,
It raced beside a precipice as close as close could be;
And then as Bernice Pitt-J broadcast one last despairing shriek
It made a leap of thirteen metres into Enoggera Creek.
‘Twas Bernice Pitt-Jones, (who’d ceased her talk), that slowly
swam ashore;
She said, “I’ve had some narrow scrapes before;
I rode a wild sheep round a yard to win a dollar bet,
But this was the most dreadful ride that I’ve encountered yet.
I’ll give that two-wheeled devil best; it’s shaken all my nerve
To feel it whistle through the air and plunge at every curve;
It’s safe at rest in Enoggera Creek, I’ll leave it rest its bones;
A Mercedes seat is good henceforth for this Pitt-Jones.
Charlie Gully “Updates the Classics”
Contributed by Dale van

October 2020 eMuse 11