Page 190 - Michael Frost-Voyages to Maturity-23531.indd

in the (reasonably well-equipped) dispensary (it contained a bed, so I suppose
that to some it could be termed a hospital) I sought Foote’s assistance. He said
that Black Draft usually did the trick (a loathsome concoction contained in a
fearsome-looking bottle, one dose of which had a remarkable ability to instantly
cure ailments). It didn’t work, so he said that an injection of similar stuff into the
man’s rump would probably cure the problem. This now became my problem!
We decided between ourselves that the worst result would be to jab the needle
in (during 2nd mates’ training, we had practiced injecting an orange, apparently
pretty close to the gluteus maximus) and have it break, so we elected to use the
strongest needle that we could, actually big enough to frighten a horse! I prepared
the dose (it was an ampoule to which distilled water had to be added) but was
disconcerted to find that my patient had a rump that appeared to comprise only
bone. I jabbed it in, but it didn’t actually go ‘in’ on the first attempt, and on the
second I was only able to get about 10% of the medication in under the skin. Still,
it had the desired effect; instantaneously he got better and leapt out of the surgery.

We were about half way up the Red Sea at that point, so the R/O called our
agent and requested that a doctor come aboard when we arrived in Suez. And,
indeed, a man did arrive, but upon talking to him it appeared that his expertise
was limited to having served during the War as a medical orderly with the 8th
Army … he wasn’t that much better qualified than I was! However, he effected
another miracle; our patient never again complained of any disability.

(Lest the learned reader be put off by this sorry medical tale, I should add
that if there were a real emergency, there was a ‘radio surgeon’ (I believe located
in Rome) who would talk one through an operation if there were no alternative,
and, of course, there was always the chance of a large passenger vessel being
within a day or two’s sailing; most were quite well equipped for childbirth, broken
limbs and that sort of thing. Even so, things could easily get hazardous if one were
chronically ill; few vessels could safely land a helicopter on a cluttered or even a
normal deck to air-drop a surgeon.)

At the end of February, we arrived in London, and I was happy to realise that
I now had sufficient sea-time in to sit for my 1st mates’ ticket. I decided to again
use the Warsash facilities and take the exams in Southampton, partly because I
knew the qualities of the instructors there, but mainly because David was still at
that University. Firstly, however, I had to get in a bit of ‘living’ and to sell my car,
as it was apparent that it was simply too exotic a vehicle for me to maintain. As
my parents had two cars, this was not a problem, and in fact their Austin A40 was
more suitable for my ‘social needs’ than was the MGA.

I stayed at Warsash from mid-April, and Elly having moved away, part-time
fun was out, so sat for 1st mates as soon as I could. I was very pleased to get the
ticket on May 1st.

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