Page 99 - Michael Frost-Voyages to Maturity-23531.indd

the mate – despite his severity, his personality grew on me, though I recall no
smile ever disturbing his outward equanimity – and I elected to sit on deck
and be ready for passengers who needed competitors in games of deck quoits.
Fortunately, there was an extremely nice-looking young lady sunning herself
nearby whom, completely by accident, I twice hit with a thrown quoit. Anyone
watching would have thought that missing the real target so frequently could not
be an accident, but such was my state of personal confidence that I would have
found it impossible to plan such a coincidence. I did, however, notice that her
friend, sitting beside her, and not quite so comely, was very solicitous towards
her. I found later that this seemed to be how they viewed each other all the time,
even on the dance-floor that evening; I never got a look-in when I asked for
a dance and could only surmise that they found all males as hairy, smelly and
noxious as I did. Actually, I always felt that all women should prefer the company
of other women to that of men; fortunately for me, only a minority seemed to
exhibit that preference.

But all was not lost. I discovered among those enjoying the sun a young lady
of perfect design who seemed somewhat bemused by the abundance of sporting,
lazing, drinking and social opportunities, and as our task was to help those in such
straits, I took in hand the task of helping her to understand how the ship could be
enjoyed. She, Anne, resided in Brighton (Basil’s hometown) a well-known coastal
resort of iniquitous repute in East Sussex that was, from my home, the nearest big
city, and to which I had infrequently cycled. Her father, I discovered, was one of
that city’s leading barristers and unable to join his wife (whom I never located) and
daughter on the cruise. We spent a couple of pleasurable hours in conversation.

Evening duties were, however, soon upon us, and the entertainment provided
by the ship was the rather puerile ‘dog-racing’ betting game. Although it allowed
for a good deal of socialising, and I won 8 shillings, it was not a gripping sport.
At that time there was really no entertainment of the sort that is now found
necessary on cruise-ships, the only concession to such needs being two small
groups (piano, violin and whatever other itinerant musicians were unable to find
better employment) that provided dance and lounge music of the wallpaper sort. I
therefore decided to take the evening off and repaired to my cabin. However, when
I arrived at the appropriate deck, I was disconcerted and delighted (at the time
the two emotions were to me not much different when such things happened!)
to find Anne waiting for me in the corridor. So, I invited her into the cabin and
offered her a drink. But then I discovered two things of profound importance.
The first was that I had not a clue what I was supposed to do next, and the second
was that she was only 16. Although we were then in Italian territorial waters, and
I had no knowledge of what was legal and what wasn’t, these facts put a major
crimp on any of my intentions. I did not take too long to draw an embarrassing
end to the evening, embarrassment to which Anne seemed immune.

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