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9. Making the wrong impression? Pay attention to your personal style. Many times, negative
personal styles get in the way of effective relationships. People who leave positive impressions get
more things done with others than those who leave cold, insensitive, or impersonal negative
impressions. Collaboration is easier when people are positive about each other. Convey warmth. Ask
questions. Listen. Show your concern. Use humor. Offer your help. Be a person whom others want to
be around. Still not sure how you are perceived? Ask for feedback about your personal style. From
multiple sources (boss, peers, colleagues). Use various methods. In person. Via a 360 survey. Listen.
Make a plan. Show them that you can handle criticism and that you are willing to work on the issues
they see as important.

Want to learn more? Take a deep dive…
Charan, R. (2012, June 21). The discipline of listening. Harvard Business Review Blog Network.

Gallo, C. (2007, April 25). Rules for making a good impression. Bloomberg Businessweek.
Russell, N. S. (2012, August 20). 10 Ways effective leaders build trust. Psychology Today.
Smith, J. (2013, October 3). 10 Tips for getting your colleagues to work with you better. Forbes.

10. One-sided in your interactions? Be more cooperative. If others see you as excessively
competitive, they will cut you out of the loop and may sabotage your collaboration attempts. To be
seen as more cooperative, explain your thinking and invite them to explain theirs. Generate a variety
of possibilities first rather than stake out positions. Be tentative, allowing them room to customize the
situation. Focus on common goals, priorities, and problems. Invite criticism of your ideas. Be helpful
to others. Someone struggling with an issue? Read up on the subject. Offer them some suggestions.
Know someone who’s an expert in that area? Connect them. Someone stuck for ideas? Offer to
brainstorm with them. See them making mistakes you’ve made? Offer to mentor. Have knowledge
they don’t? Share information. Look for ways to reach out and help others be successful. Be
proactive. Look for ways to cooperate and support before you need to collaborate.

11. Getting competitive? Know the difference between healthy and unhealthy competition.
Research shows that organizations that encourage people to offer help and ask for help are more
successful than companies that create unnecessary competition and a “taker” mentality. It is one of
the strongest predictors of team success. One-upmanship, pride, ego, and “not invented here”
mentality all get in the way of success. Working well with peers over the long-term helps everyone,
makes sense for the organization, and builds a capacity for the organization to do greater things. It
encourages collaboration. Often the least-used resource in an organization is lateral exchanges of
information and resources. Share the wealth. Don’t be afraid to help your peers. Shift your thinking
from the needs of your area to what is best for the organization. Thinking at this higher level will help
you avoid unhealthy internal competition. Review the performance metrics and measures you are
using as a team. Consider whether they are detrimental to collaboration. If you gain, does someone
else lose? Does your success create costs elsewhere? Are you competing for the same resources?
Adjust where you need to, to encourage collaboration and teamwork.

12. Lacking self-awareness in conflicts? Monitor yourself in tough situations. What’s the first thing
you attend to? How often do you take a stand vs. make an accommodating gesture? What proportion

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