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about God in my desperate situation . I never realized I was so dependent on others in my life, in the form of the constant help during this period that my friends provided by getting me the essential things that I needed . And I did eventually have a quick recovery from the sickness, without having very bad symptoms . All glory to God and because of the prayers of my loved ones and special thanks to my mother who kept doctoring me from so far away .
But if there is one important les- son that I have learned from this whole exercise is, that I was all too self-suffi- cient, self-reliant, self-confident in my work, relationships and even the things I thought I was doing for God . All of a sudden all the plans that I had made for the weeks ahead had come to fail . Even my efforts to be productive dur- ing the break were failing . Not because my intentions were bad, but because I had to realise I couldn’t do it in my own strength . I was in fact feeling burdened, frustrated and burned out .
Much like Moses who had to run away and hide after taking things into His own hands by trying to kill the Egyptian, we want to do great things for God, but before God can use us, He has to break us till we learn to rely on Him completely, despising our eve- ry effort, saying like Jesus, “I do noth- ing of my own accord, but only what I see the Father doing” (John 5:19) . He wants us to rest and abide in Him and seek our direction and purpose from Him . Jesus says, “Apart from me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5) .
We can spend our whole lives doing the ‘works’ of God, but in the end God
may be resigned to say, “ I don’t know you, away from me you evildoers,” if it was not done according to His will . But how do we know His will? Only through spending time with God and His word can He reveal it to us through His Holy Spirit dwelling within us . In the parable of the ten virgins, all ten were waiting for the bridegroom, car- rying their lamps with them, five of them who were foolish ran out of oil, while the other five of them who were wise, made sure they had extra oil for the whole duration of the wait . That is the oil of intimacy, that Jesus is asking us to cultivate in these last days, if we are to be ready for Him!
So, as the world is going through this pandemic, God is reminding us to be still and know that He is God, He is asking us to cease from our striving . He doesn’t want servants, He wants friends, intimate friends that are His, with whom He can share His heart and His secrets .
Daniel 11:32 says, “But the people that know their God, shall be strong and do exploits .” Will we be set apart and Holy? Will we be that priestly gen- eration who will dedicate themselves to draw close to God and to stand in the gap for our people and represent Him to the world? Will we be the proph- ets calling down the rain of heaven on earth, by praying prayers that are after His own heart?
Let us say like Samuel, or Abraham, or Moses, “Here I am, I am available . You can have it all, You can use me God .” n
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