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7. Write the final draft and make corrections

Final Draft:

My Role Model

My role model is the activist Malala Yousafzai. I admire her, because she is intelligent,

brave and a peaceful woman. She works and study at the same time, she also promotes the
importance of education and human rights, especially for women. First, she is a very brave girl,

she was a volunteer to write a blog for BBC network, describing life in Swat, her natal city,
that decision was very dangerous, because in a place like Pakistan, women do not have the

chance to express their opinions, they are not allowed to study, they just have a job, being

housewives. So Taliban control schools and they prohibited to let get in girls. In one of those
controls Malala was shooting when she was on the bus. Second, she is forgiving, after she

received shots her head and neck, she was several months in comma, but she decided to forgive

him and she did not present any demand against the man who shot at her, she says she is grateful
to be alive, then Malala and her family moved to England, because their country is not a safe

place to live anymore. She realized that being in England is easier to promote her ideals of
peace and work with organizations a favor of human rights and female education rights around

the world, especially in the Middle East. Finally she is intelligent. She is the best in her class,
she wants to be a teacher, and in her free time she work schools of Middle East and Africa

teaching children, she says that a pencil is more valuable than a gun. She also travels a lot given

speeches and collaborating with other activist and celebrities such as Emma Watson. In 2014
she won a Novel Peace Price, being the youngest woman to receive it. Many people including

politicians admire her because she was one of the few people who showed issues in the Middle
East and because she is a paradigm for many teenager. For those reasons I would like to be like

her, fight for human rights and be brave against violence.

8. Type of concluding sentence:

It refers to general statements and supporting ideas, expressing a wish and an objective.

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