Page 171 - Truncal States to UAE_Neat

Chapter Four

is lasting and successful, this is usually the beginning of further
marriages between the families in subsequent generations.
It was customary to marry girls off as soon as possible after they
had reached puberty; they were brought up to see marriage and
childbearing as the most desirable status, which they should attain
as soon as possible. Parents and brothers seemed to fear that a
marriageable girl in the household was a liability, because there was
always the very faint chance that she might succumb to someone’s
seduction and bring disgrace to the family. Once she was married,
her conduct became the responsibility of the husband, although
misdemeanour was seen as a blot on the honour of her father’s
family, and it was up to them rather than to the husband—who
would probably divorce her—to punish or to forgive. Many girls
were therefore married at the age of thirteen to husbands who were
themselves only about sixteen years old; but because such marriages
usually took place within the fold of the extended family the girl
remained within that family group. She might continue to live with
the same female relatives as before the marriage, she might even
continue to live in the same household as her mother, but in any event
she would be living near to the family that she had grown up with,
the female members of which would help with the problems
associated with setting up a new household or with pregnancy and
child-bearing. Finding suitable partners for marriage, contacting the
respective parents and arranging the economic aspects of a marriage
was customarily done within the female world of related and friendly
hurum. On some occasions, however, the services of known female
go-betweens (liberated slave women, servants, midwives or healers)
were employed. A girl was always asked for her consent to the
marriage in front of the mulawwa' or another trusted and well-
known male witness or before a group of people.44 But very young
girls were usually too dependent on their fathers and too obedient to
their parents and brothers to withhold this consent. In many cases
the two partners grew up playing together when they were children,
and had a good idea of each other’s personalities.
If the arranged marriage was not successful, it was in principle the
husband’s privilege alone to initiate divorce proceedings. He could
even just tell his wife that he wanted to divorce her, in which case she
had to take her own belongings and her smaller children and go back
to her father’s house; usually boys over the age of seven stayed with
the fathers, and girls remained with the mothers until puberty.

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