Page 28 - MHC Magazine 2018

28 Milnerton Hebrew Congregation - High Holy Days 5779
Jokes from Jewlarious at Aish.com “Mazal tov Rachel! I am so happy for you!”
gushed her mother giving her a big hug, “I hope
21st Century Synagogue you two will be really happy together! I can’t
RABBI MONDAY MORNING IN SHUL: “Will every- wait to meet him!”
one please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart “Tell us more about him” said her Dad, “does
phone, and Kindles to Art Scroll page 232. And he have any money?”
please switch on your Bluetooth to download “Oh Dad! You men are all the same.”
the sermon.”
P-a-u-s-e...... “What do you mean?” asked her father.
“Now, let us daven. Open your Apps, BBM, Twit- “That was the fi rst question he asked me about
ter and Facebook, and chat with God” you too!”
S-i-l-e-n-c-e .......
“As we accept your kind tzedakah donations, Shabbos at Bubbie’s
please have your credit and debit cards ready.” Little Shmuli and the Marcus family were invit-
“You can log on to the Shul Wi-Fi using the pass- ed to their grandparents for Friday night din-
word ‘Hashem18.’ The Shammes will circulate ner. Everyone was seated around the table and
mobile card swipe machines among the congre- Zadie Marcus was getting ready to recite Kid-
gants: dush. Just then, Shmuli reached for the challah
Those who prefer to make electronic fund and appetizers on the table and began eating.
transfers are directed to computers and laptops “Shmuli, wait until Zadie says kiddush and ham-
at the rear of the Shul. otzi!” demanded his father.
Those who prefer to use iPads can open them. “I don’t have to,” the fi ve year old replied.
Those who prefer telephone banking, take out “Of course you do, Shmuli,” his mother insisted
your cell phones to transfer your contributions forcefully. “We always wait until after kiddush
to the Shul account.” and hamotzi at our house.”
This week’s shiur will be held on the various “That’s at our house,” Shmuli explained, “but
Facebook group pages where the usual group this is Bubbie’s house, and she knows how to
chatting takes place. Please log in and don’t cook.”
miss out.
Thursday’s Talmud Torah study will be held
live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don’t
miss out.
You can follow the Rabbi on Twitter this week-
end for counselling and prayers.

Who Says Men Don’t Remember
Moishe and Miriam Epstein were shopping at
the mall. Suddenly Miriam looked around and
Moishe was gone. Miriam was quite upset be-
cause they had a lot of shopping to do. She
searched for a while before she decided to
call Moishe on his cell phone to ask him where
he was.
In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember
the jewelry store we went to about fi ve years
ago, when you fell in love with that diamond
necklace that we couldn’t afford and I told
you one day - one day, I would get it for you?”
Miriam choked up and started to cry. “Yes I
remember that store,” she said trembling.
“Good,” replied Moishe, “Because I’m at the
ice cream store next door.”

School Romance
Rachel went off to New York to get her Mas-
ter’s degree, and while she was there she
met someone special. “Mom, Dad, sit down.
I have something very important to tell you,”
said Rachel, upon her return home from col-
lege after graduation. “I met a guy at school
that I really like and we decided we are going
to get married!”