Page 8 - MN

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loner, with interludes where I try to be sociable. That was a lot easier years ago when I was drinking.
Later on I watch the documentary, "Senna", about Arton Senna, the race driver who died in a crash at age 34. I am sad. I think about all the things we try to do in life, and how inconsequential they become in the end. I think of Kobe Bryant, Senna, and the unknowns who never achieve greatness but try hard to do well and realize in the end it's not a big deal. I was going to become a great entertainer, a master of music and comedy, and maybe, on a few nights, I achieved it. I know now I didn't work hard enough, or smart enough. Senna and Kobe did, and both died young. I guess it matters, but I also think the joy is in the process, not the results or the legacy.
So now I sit in the bedroom, my wife across from me watching something on Netflix. She is a good woman, and the past 13 years with her have been the best of my life. We live quietly. I try to be a good husband, but I think I'm difficult to live with. My first two marriages failed and other relationships did too. Maybe now that I'm not on the road and obsessed with work I'm easier to live with. I hope so.