Page 26 - Billy Graham in Heaven

The Four Lane into the Brain
19
“Try being flaming gay while faking classically straight in a culture that would burn you at the stake if they found out.”
“Just please, don’t you go around insulting traditional marriage,” said Graham.
“And you don’t go around damning us to eternal fire and brimstone just because we’re not attracted to the reproductive curves of women!” exclaimed Liberace. “I’m obviously not on fire and am as comfortable as you. Let’s shake hands so we can at least get this over with.”
“Yes, I agree,” said Graham. “But just why are we meeting? So far Heaven is not at all like it says in the Bible. Where are the angels and mansions?”
“You’ll get used to it,” said Liberace, calming down. A quiet chime noise sounded in the air.
“Ah,” smiled Liberace. “That means we can move on. Well Billy, despite our disagreements, it was still good talking to a fellow showman.”
“So long,” said Graham, but Liberace had already sailed out on the same cloud he sailed in on. Graham felt better than when he’d parted from Nietzsche. Still he began wondering if he’d been wrong about homosexuality. Then he realized he was definitely in Heaven, so he couldn’t have been too wrong. Or could he?
He began whistling How Great Thou Art and picked up a magazine from a nearby cloud credenza he hadn’t noticed. It was called the Galactic Golf Catalogue. He thought how grand it would be to play a leisurely round at Pinehurst with a President or two.
Then he shuddered. What would Heaven throw at him next? He felt a little like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol.