Page 15 - Toast of the Remote Hosts

Typecasting at Your Remote Happy Hour
At your cyber-fete you may expect to find yourself inter- acting with some well-known types, just like at a “real” cocktail party. Here are some of the specimens you may encounter.
The Wallflower. Once upon a time we would find him hovering expectantly by the bowl of seaweed crackers no one likes, hoping to mingle, but never finding the ideal moment to jump in. Today he’s just one silent square of our monitor grid. The new world of remote entertaining is actually easier on those of us who find small talk a chore. If you don’t feel like say- ing anything you can pretend you are just watching Hollywood Squares and no one will mind all that much. And how fabulously Warholian is that?
The Blowhard. In real life you could just wander away when he invariably steers the conversation to endless exposition on his side projects. If you can’t shut him down, the nuclear option as host is to cut his mic and blame it on unexplained technical difficulties.
The Tech Wizard. He has all the answers to those fine technical details no one cares about. He’ll suggest a new platform for a meeting he isn’t hosting, one that invariably involves downloading another app you will have difficulty convincing your computer isn’t a full blown security attack, and by the time you’ve sorted it out, everyone else will have already agreed they won’t use.
Caveman in a Spaceship. The flip is your dear friend who immediately upon joining the party realizes they lack this or that widget and spends the entire time flipping switches and jerry- rigging stopgaps, which never last more than seven seconds. Look for the baffled expression on a face ninety degrees from vertical.