Page 229 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

the day's news utterly forgotten and everyone gibbering down the phone about

links, towers and OBs. Anyway, it is all happening tomorrow and I have to
report to Lewisham fire station at 11 o'clock. I'm going to ring round everybody
tonight and tell them to watch. Cannot wait to tell Mum.

Wednesday 27 September

8st 11 (shrunk with embarrassment), alcohol units 3, cigarettes 0 (no smoking in
fire station) then 12 in 1 hour, calories 1584 (v.g.).

9 p.m. Have never been so humiliated in my life. Spent all day rehearsing and
getting everything organized. The idea was that when they Cut to Lewisham I
was going to slide down the pole into shot and start interviewing a fireman. At
five o'clock as we went on air I was perched at the top of the pole ready to slide
down on my cue. Then suddenly in my earpiece I heard Richard shouting, 'Go,

go, go go, go!' so I let go of the pole and started to slide. Then he continued, 'Go,
go, go, Newcastle! Bridget, stand by in Lewisham. Coming to you in thirty
seconds.'

I thought about dropping to the bottom of the pole and rushing back up the

stairs but I was only a few feet down so I started to pull myself up again instead.
Then suddenly there was a great bellow in my ear.

'Bridget! We're on you. What the fuck are you doing? You're meant to be
sliding down the pole, not climbing up it. Go, go, go.'