Page 267 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

'I'd rather you didn't come up, hon, to be honest.'

'Oh, bloody hell,' said Sharon, pushing past me. 'Tom, you silly bloody queen,
you've only had half London up in arms ringing the police, combing the
metropolis for you because no one knows where you are. Bloody well let us in.'

'I don't want anyone except Bridget,' said Tom petulantly. I beamed
beatifically at the others.

'Don't be such a prima bloody donna,' said Shazzer.

Silence. 'Come on, you silly sod. Let us in.'

There was a pause, then the buzzer went. 'Bzzz.'

'Are you ready for this?' came his voice as we reached the top floor and he
opened the door.

All three of us cried out. Tom's whole face was distorted, hideous yellow and
black, and encased in plaster.

'Tom, what's happened to you?' I cried, clumsily trying to embrace him and
ending up kissing his ear. Jude burst into tears and Shazzer kicked the wall.

'Don't worry, Tom,' she growled. 'We'll find the bastards who did this.'

'What happened?' I said again, tears beginning to plop down my cheeks. 'Er,

well . . . ' said Tom, extracting himself awkwardly from my embrace, 'actually I,
er, I had a nose job.'

Turned out Tom had secretly had the operation on Wednesday but was too

embarrassed to tell us because we'd all been so dismissive about his minuscule
nasal bump. He was supposed to have been looked after by Jerome, henceforth
to be known as Creepy Jerome (it was going to be heartless Jerome but we all
agreed that sounded too interesting). When, however, Creepy Jerome saw him