Page 54 - Just Deserts

Revelation Research

“Well, yes, those objections could be raised.” Honus Bellwether
tapped the papers with his left forefinger. “But once we get the ball
rolling, the particulars of her case history will be relatively
insignificant. And the hundred thousand dollars she demands might
never be delivered: it’s not carved in stone that her protection has to
be provided by us. She’ll become a momentary celebrity, then a
state’s witness—let the government hide her away somewhere in the
boondocks. God knows we pay enough taxes for that sort of thing.”
The cleric’s slightly pained expression did not alter. “We also don’t
know exactly what kind of proof she will offer at the appropriate
moment. It may well be, as Mary—or whatever her real name is—
wants to believe, and wants us to believe, that the Lord has chosen
her as an instrument of His vengeance, to smite His enemies on
national television. How do we know what she really might do?”
The mogul of mastication raised his hands in mock despair.
“How? How indeed, Lem? We have it on good authority, that’s
how. Phineas did all the necessary research. He’s never let us down.
How did we know modern science would get tripped up on its own
methodology when we put the screws to it on the evolution issue?
How could we have predicted the populace would accept our
definition of patriotism rather than the ACLU’s? How, in fact, have
we managed to keep the money rolling in to our treasury during the
economic downturn? With research. In-depth surveys. The same
stuff advertisers use. We have to compete in the contemporary
marketplace of ideas. And we do: our use of computers and industrial
psychology is decades ahead of the liberals and environmentalists!”
General Newcombe puffed out his ruddy cheeks and glared at
Widdershins.
“You’re too full of doubt for a preacher, if you don’t mind my
saying so; and you, Bellwether, have too much faith in technology.
All I need is the Bible to show me what’s right. The Lord abhors
these blasphemous anti-Christian swine, male or female or something
in between; I don’t need to quote you chapter and verse. But we are
here to fight the forces of darkness, and we must seize on every
opportunity that presents itself. It’s a nasty, dirty business, and some
people who don’t understand their role in this mighty contest of
cosmic powers will be crushed underfoot by the troops on both
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