Page 2 - Element 5-Writing II correction
P. 2
ESSAY:
Education has been an important aspect since many years. Not all people have the
opportunity to attend the university because they do not have enough money.
Personally, university education should be totally free. In this way, more people would
have the chance to go to the university, and free education could be a benefit.
Many people work instead of study, because they do not have enough money to go to
the university. However, if university education is free, more students will get the
chance to go to the university. [Many teenagers work and study at the same time, but if
education were free, they would let their jobs. Students could spend their time studying
at the college. ]
Poor people usually do not have the opportunity to go to the university. Sometimes,
they do not finish the school or high school. However, free university education can be
a benefit for poor people. [They do not have to pay for books. Also, they could have the
resources to study at the university.]
As a conclusion, the government want to improve university education. Free
education would be beneficial for people that really want to attend university. The
government should try to give people totally free education because it will be a benefit
for the country. Also, we wouldn’t see unemployed people.
Details: Cause-effect, explanation
Type of conclusion: Opinion
Thesis statement:
