Page 17 - ebook 9keys
P. 17

Feeling Significant – ‘I Count’
  We all like to feel that we matter. We count. We make a difference and
  children are no different.
  Toddlers are self-centred as they are not yet mature enough to differentiate
  themselves from others, but if parents respond to their needs and care for
  them, they feel secure and safe. They can trust the world. They learn that
  they can count on others.
  A baby will soon learn that they are important. That they matter. That they
  are significant and that they count.
  Whereas a baby whose needs are not met may learn that they can’t trust the
  world and that the world isn’t a safe place and
  they may not be able to move beyond that self- centred experience.
  Children who are encouraged & appreciated learn that they count, that they
  matter, that they are important and they feel significant and valued for who
  they are.













  Whereas children who are not made to feel significant look for a way to feel
  valued in more destructive ways. Attention seeking, being unkind to siblings,
  provoking others and seeking revenge to get their need for significance met.
  Teenagers who feel valued become more involved in school or community
  activities and are conscious that they make a difference and can affect the
  world for the better. They are less likely to break the rules or avoid
  responsibility.  They behave constructively.

  Whereas a teen who doesn’t feel that they count, behaves in more
  destructive ways, getting involved in vandalism, gangs or involved with
  stealing thinking that what they do doesn’t matter.


  A child who believes that they count - feels valued & believes that they can
  have a positive impact on the world. Whereas a child who believes that they
  don’t matter feels hurt, insignificant and may try
  to hurt back, seek revenge or decide that making a negative impact is better
  than making no impact at all.
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