Page 41 - The Houseguest

It’s amazing how long one’s life can function without the “necessary” manmade undertakings we weave into our hectic schedules, upgrading each to priority status the closer it gets to its due date. Flu shots, doctor appointments, oil changes, wheel alignments, termite inspections, dental appointments, bills. For twelve months, I ignored the “maintenance” of life...and yet survived. In fact, in one year it became crystal clear to me all the minutiae, all the inconsequential bullshit we allow to infiltrate and occupy the time we spend here on earth. In some twisted hoax played on us by society and the universe, we are subconsciously trained to waste our precious minutes on what we have been secretly taught is important. However, we cannot be forewarned. We read clichés with hopeful enthusiasm: “life is too short,” “carpe diem” and “take time to smell the roses.” But not until some cruel twist of fate changes our reality do we realize how badly we have been duped, how many of our finite hours have already been expended chasing the almighty dollar and cherishing useless objects.
I sat in the car staring at the front door, with the two urns of “cremains” carefully situated and belted in the passenger seats. During the drive, I played some warped reality game that we were traveling as a family again to the beach house for fun and relaxation. Desperation allows one’s mind to travel far beyond what is considered logical and yet it is all accepted because it is filed under G for GRIEF. “Everyone’s grieving process is unique.” Thus, we can tell ourselves we’re not going crazy: we are simply grieving. Grief offers justification, reasons for irrational actions, as they are considered socially tolerable, but for how long?
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The Houseguest by Linda Ellis www.LindaEllis.life