Page 169 - Dash Inspirations by Linda Ellis

Sympathy vs. Empathy
Though often used interchangeably, these words are not synonyms. The difference in the meaning of the two words is as vast as between the words pity and understanding. Although both are acts of feeling, sympathy represents pity or compassion, whereas empathy represents a deeper understanding by imagining oneself actually experiencing the plight or predicament of another, a sharing of painful feelings. They say misery loves company, but the act of sharing others’ grief can literally lighten their load and ease their pain. It is a matter of saying: “I’m sorry for your pain” versus “I feel your pain.”
Empathy is often derived from having gone through similar experiences and being able to draw on your own past emotions. Feeling sympathy is innate in most of us, yet feeling empathy requires taking a willful step beyond requiring a more active, emotionally involved, and non- judgmental compassion.
So often, however, we encounter those who are suffering a plight that we have not endured. I stated in the introduction that a good actor, in order to appear genuine, literally places himself in the surroundings of a subject he intends to portray. We can use this same approach to become more empathetic, rather than sympathetic, to others. Instantly become an actor in your mind and take on an individual’s “part.” In order to be most helpful, we must try to feel what others are feeling and see things from their perspective. In other words, try to feel their pain.
You might be wondering why someone would wish to try to experience or share in another’s misfortune or pain. On the surface, it would seem that doing so could make the circumstances that much harder to bear. I have learned about a Tibetan Buddhist concept called Tonglen. Tonglen entails mentally exchanging yourself for another person, thereby sharing his or her distress and your peace. The intent is to open the compassion in your heart and enhance your connection to the human condition. The effect is said to increase hope, reduce selfishness, expand loving kindness,
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and create more positive energy through giving and helping. The better we 169
Dash Inspirations by Linda Ellis www.LindaEllis.life