Page 184 - Dash Inspirations by Linda Ellis

that you must go through each stage in order to heal, I feel that each individual has his or her own personal coping mechanisms. Grieving should be as individual as the lives we live. The grieving process is comparable to a roller coaster, with sudden, unexpected ups and downs, highs and lows. If we learn not to brace ourselves against the inevitable emergence of emotions, and instead move with them and succumb to the feelings they summon, the ride will be a lot easier to endure. Temporarily indulge yourself. Use up the tears until the well runs dry. Many experience a textbook reaction after suffering a loss and follow the stages of grief in succession. Some display only three out of five. Everyone is different. Death causes feelings of loss that are so encompassing, so mind-boggling, so numbingly heart-wrenching, they can leave a black hole in your soul if you let them.
The one common denominator of grief is pain, and the best remedy for easing that pain is time. Time is the salve that helps close the wound. However, there is no medicine available that will remove the scar. That is because, if the scar is erased, it will take with it, the memories.
Now, to those with whom I correspond about “The Dash,” I offer the things that helped me personally through the grieving process: Lose the denial. Don’t remain perpetually in the shock phase. Allow yourself to experience the pain, because it hurts, and it hurts for a reason. The longer you postpone absorbing the pain, the longer it will take you to accept the reality. Face your feelings. Bring ’em on. It happened. Nothing you can do will change the past. The sun will rise tomorrow, and you must find a way to rise with it. Do not suppress your emotions. Express your feelings.
Those who do not understand the unpredictability of your current emotional state are not worthy of the label, “friend.” Physically, you must move on immediately, because life must go on. However, move on emotionally only when you know you’re ready. The most important thing to remember is that this intense pain will not be here forever. Remind yourself that you can endure almost anything if you know for certain that it is only temporary. Time is a great healer. I won’t lie and say that time heals the pain completely. You will still feel the hurt after time passes. Yet, like a bee sting, the severe initial pain lessens, and what remains becomes more of a bearable ache, a unique longing. Tenderness and loving memories begin to fill the emptiness in your heart until it no longer becomes a place you avoid. Memories and mental visits become more
Dash Inspirations by Linda Ellis www.LindaEllis.life
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