Page 183 - Dash Inspirations by Linda Ellis

The Mourning After
Through the years, I would venture to guess I’ve been exposed to the subject of death and dying as much as any coroner or funeral director, having penned “The Dash” poem. Though, as I’ve mentioned, I wrote this poem to reflect life, more than death, its eventual association was inevitable. My poem and funerals (celebrations of life) are now as closely linked as life and death.
Through the years, my journey as the author of The Dash has made me a far more realistic person. Though comprised of simple words, the poem has served as a catalyst through which I would unknowingly meet and conquer my own fears of death. Every day I wake to a voice mail, an e- mail, or a post on social media in which someone is sharing the story of a loved one’s dash with me. Through the experiences of others, I have learned about grief and mourning, and I have learned to further appreciate the gift of time and of life.
Much like everything else in life, until I experienced death and bereavement myself, I could sympathize, but not fully empathize, with my readers. Not until I watched closely as death efficiently performed its duties on a loved one of mine, did I fully recognize the impact of the finality and the significance of the mourning after. One hour he was here, the next he was gone forever. In an instant, one life ends, and one will never the same. The concept of the instant transition from life to death is still nearly impossible for me to fathom. It continues to intrigue me and influences the themes in many of my writings.
When I began receiving correspondence regularly about the end of so many dashes, I started to feel more like a counselor than an author. I felt a yearning to offer positive feedback and comfort to those who had formed a temporary virtual kinship with me by sharing their stories. It seemed a responsibility had been placed at my doorstep, and it was one I could not ignore. However, in order to become more helpful and compassionate in my responses, I needed to do some research to learn more about the stages of grief, responses to loss, and the steps to recovery. It seemed to me the experts had it all figured out.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Those are the five most commonly referenced stages of grief. Although many experts insist
Dash Inspirations by Linda Ellis www.LindaEllis.life
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