Page 209 - Some Dance to Remember
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Some Dance to Remember 179
of the gallery. The leather crowd milled around them.
“Okay,” Ryan said, “what is it?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“You’re pregnant?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“For God’s sake why?”
“For the usual reason.”
“You’re in-love.”
“No. I fucked.”
He could not believe that his precious little sister for all her wildness
could have betrayed the feeling they had always recognized between them.
Kweenie knew that if Ryan were ever to make love to any woman it would
be her. She wanted him. Sometimes. Other times she wanted what she
wanted.
“Who’s the father?”
“Wouldn’t you just like to know.”
“As a matter of fact, I would.”
“I can’t tell you. Not now. Maybe never.”
“Are you trying to make me jealous?” Ryan asked.
“Yes,” she said. “And no. I know we’ll never do it. Because you won’t
do it. But I had my reasons.”
“I suppose you want to experience motherhood.”
“I thought about it. At first. Now what I really want to experience is
abortion.”
“Aw, jeez!”
2
“It’s time,” Kick said, “to make a certain commitment.”
“To each other,” Ryan said.
“And to muscle.” Kick held Ryan in his arms. This happened their
second Christmas together. They lay naked on the ancient iron bed Ryan
had set up in his studio in the barn at Rancho Bar Nada. The fire in the
wood stove was the only light.
“I’ve got to know,” Kick said, “everything about muscle. I want you
and me, coach, to take muscle and push it as far as it will go.”
“I want to push us as far as we can go,” Ryan said. He meant to push
the Energy sired by sex between them. He was cautious. He was jealous
of their privacy. Going public could be dangerous. The physique contests
were one thing. January’s TV special was another. Ryan feared agents and
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