Page 342 - Some Dance to Remember

312 Jack Fritscher

body—not for the spiritual reasons the priests at Misericordia had taught
him—but for a different reason. But he wouldn’t have to love him at all if
I could put my head inside Logan’s body.
If Ryan had learned anything in dealing with a Southern man like
Kick, it was patience. He would wait to say what he would not say now.
Instead, he said, “I know you need a man to fit your fantasies the way you
fit mine. I want you to have everything. Only, don’t lose contact with me.
What we have is too good to lose.”
“I know,” Kick said. “Neither of us can conjure alone as well as we can
when we’re together. We have special times, you and I, but there’s other
kinds of special times I need to have with Logan. I don’t want either of
you to be jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.” Ryan spoke what he thought was the absolute truth
of a generous heart. “Really I’m not. I never have been. You can have
anything you want. But I’ve seen him hurt you.”
“Sometimes he hurts me,” Kick said.
“I hope I’ve never hurt you.” Ryan fished.
“You’ve never hurt me. You and he are nothing like each other, but...”
“But you more than love him. I can tell.” Ryan remembered Kick’s
commandment to him. “You’re in-love with him.”
Kick looked Ryan directly in the eyes. “Yes. I’m in-love with him.”
“Are you in-love with me?” Ryan knew the answer and did not fear it.
“We always said we’d never fall in-love with each other.”
“Other lovers do. Why do we have to be different?” Ryan said.
“Because what we have is different from anything else in the world.
We have spectacular sex. I love you for that. I love you for your head. If I
fell in-love with you, it would ruin everything.”
“How would it ruin anything?” Ryan asked.
“It would trivialize the grand passion we both have for muscle.” Kick
was a good student of a better coach. He had learned from Ryan to speak
words Ryan’s way. “What we have is what you’re always talking about.”
“What’s that?”
“Something existential. It affects our very existence.”
“Logan doesn’t affect your existence?”
“No.” Kick drawled softly. He wished Ryan no hurt. “What I have
with Logan is something, well, romantic.” He took Ryan’s hand. “You’re
a necessity to me. He’s a luxury.”
Ryan found it strange that he liked the concept. Love was a necessity.
Romance was a luxury. He was beginning to hate semantics.
“I don’t love him the way I love you, but I’ve been in-love with him

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