Page 362 - Some Dance to Remember

332 Jack Fritscher

this afternoon.”
“Kick tells me no matter who else we occasionally play with, there’s
nothing like the home team.”
“What a line,” Solly said. “Eat your sausage. You’re such a sucker. If
you believe that, how’d you like to buy the Golden Gate Bridge cheap?”
“It’s not merely our dicks. Our heads cum together.”
“What you’re talking about is what goes on in your head. What goes
on in his pretty blond bubble head you’ll never know.”
“Kicks says he feels the same. He thinks the same. We’re onto
something.”
“Something like a collision course,” Solly said. “He’s having his cake
and eating it too. I’ve heard his line. I’ve heard thousands of hustlers talk.
Hustlers are my business, remember? Good hustlers tell you precisely what
you want to hear. Your muscle hustler is no more than an uptown version
of my street hustlers. I’m an expert on both kinds. Drop him. Give us all
a break.”
“It’s the epidemic,” Ryan said. “That’s what’s got me more upset than
Kick.”
“I suppose you think if you agonize over Kick, God will spare you
from the agony of AIDS.”
“We all have to suffer.”
“Catholicism has turned your brain to Brie.”
“I know it’s ridiculous. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t help myself.
Sometimes I pray. Sometimes I revert to prayer.”
“Truly retrograde.”
“I can hardly believe myself. Sometimes when I’m alone I check out
my legs for purple lesions. I don’t want gay cancer. Without even thinking,
I find myself praying.”
“That’s how all people pray. Without thinking.”
“I say stuff like, ‘Dear God, deliver me, please. Deliver us all. Protect
me. Protect all of us. Make it go away. We don’t deserve this punishment.’”
“AIDS is a disease. Not a punishment. Get that straight,” Solly said.
“Some people, you know, believe in cause and effect. I don’t care if
everybody knows I’m homosexual. But I do care if I die of something, for
chrissakes, gay!”
“How embarrassing.” Solly exaggerated the words. “People will think
what they want. They always have. They always will.”
“Oh, God! I’ve got to find some hope in all this disease.”
“God?” Solly said. “If he exists, he’s keeping his zip code a secret to
himself.” He threw Ryan a paper napkin. “Get hold of yourself.”

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