Page 372 - Some Dance to Remember
P. 372

342                                                Jack Fritscher

                                          13


               On New Year’s Eve, Ryan drove alone to the rocky outcropping of
            Corona Heights. He pulled his VW Rabbit up to the curb below the
            gravel path that led to the crest of the mountain. For a long while he sat
            in the car with the engine running. He wondered how many people in
            San Francisco had sat in lonely debate behind the wheel of their parked
            cars wagering whether to drive to the Bridge or not. But it wasn’t Death
            he wanted. It was Death he feared. It wasn’t even Logan. Not really. Logan
            was Kick’s bad boy. Logan was Kick’s Teddy. Ryan understood all that.
            What he wanted was Kick himself.
               We’ll leave the city. We’ll move to Wyoming or Colorado. Someplace
            clean where they’ve never heard of drugs or disease or dirty sex. Maybe some
            small town in Texas.I’ll sell Bar Nada and the Victorian. We’ll buy a little
            place—Oh, God, this is sick. I want to take him off to a cottage by the sea. I
            don’t believe I’m even thinking this!
               Ryan looked at his eyes in the rearview mirror and laughed at him-
            self. “Oh, God!” he said. “Please, please, please.” He laughed again. “Oh,
            Jesus! I sound like Teddy begging not to be thrown out. Does everybody
            pleading make the same stupid sounds? Please? Please? Please? Praying is
            degrading.”
               This New Year’s Eve was very different from the end of the year before.
            That night Kick had driven them down Valencia Street to the Devil’s
            Herd, a gay country-western bar with a live band. It was one of the few
            times they ever went out. It was the first and only time they had danced
            together. They had held back against the wall around the dance floor
            watching the gay boys in their cowboy drag two-step to “Cotton-Eyed
            Joe” and line dance to the foot-stomping “Elvira.” The band finished its
            set. The jukebox took over. The crowd of dancers broke up and headed
            back to their beers.
               Kick surprised Ryan. He dragged him onto the empty dance floor.
            Anne Murray was singing “I’m Happy Just to Dance with You.” Kick
            pulled Ryan close into his crotch.
               “Come here,” Bama-Alabama drawled. “Let’s do a real buckle polisher.”
               For the first time, they slow danced alone on the floor. Ryan was
            in heaven. Kick danced as good as he posed. Ryan ignored the jealous
            remarks.”
               What’s that guy got that I haven’t?”
               The record stopped and Ryan stood a beat longer with his arms
            around Kick’s big shoulders. Another record dropped, and again, Murray’s

                      ©Jack Fritscher, Ph.D., All Rights Reserved
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