Page 561 - Gay San Francisco: Eyewitness Drummer - Vol. 1

Gay San Francisco: Eyewitness Drummer 541
The Gay Sports Revival:
Should Only Straight Guys Have All This Fun?

Gay Jock Sports
Wrestling, Boxing, Rollerballing, Soaring,
Scuba, Bodybuilding, Dune Bodies, Films

He chews Redman tobacco, wears a railroad engineer’s cap at the helm,
and often pisses over the side of Courageous, the 12-meter yacht he skip-
pered to the America’s Cup crown. Before the America’s Cup races, he
pep-talked his crewmen as if they were a football team, playing the theme
song from Rocky to fire them up. His name is Reginald Edward Turner III,
although he’s more often known as “Captain Outrageous.”
Ted Turner is a perfect 38 years old, a Georgia peach of a jock who
stretched his RET initials to name his own WRET-TV station [which
became his global super-station CNN] . He sees himself as Scarlett’s
Rhett modernized. International yachtsman Turner owns Atlanta’s base-
ball and basketball franchises. He buys and sells pro-ball players like Big
Macs. In a former existence, the dashingly handsome Turner no doubt
owned a stable of gladiators. In this existence, he’s a macho, married,
handsome, straight, millionaire jock.

SPORTS MASTURBATED

Of all the current gladiator dreamjocks, Oakland Raiders’ quarterback
Kenny Stabler is a man of a southern class more redneck than the aris-
tocratic Turner. “My lifestyle,” Stabler confessed to Sports Illustrated,
“is too rough — too much booze and babes and cigarettes to be a high-
school coach.” Stabler is big, bearded, and so butch that after winning
the Super Bowl, he described the Raiders’ locker room victory party as a
great release: “Coach Madden was all red and grinning and the guys were
hugging each other like a bunch of fruits.”
Twice-divorced Stabler now keeps Wickedly Wonderful Wanda so
close that she emerges “like a bauble from the shadow of his armpit.” (Jock
reporters, like Robert Jones, have a way with words to make your mouth
water.) Always an athlete, Stabler, nicknamed “Snake,” was 6-3 and 185
before pro-ball weight training boosted his bulk to 215. “The stronger you
are, the more muscle you got around those joints, the less likely you are to
get hurt.”

©Jack Fritscher, Ph.D., All Rights Reserved—posted 05-05-2017
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