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SOUTH ASIAN OBSERVER NEWS 9
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 03, 2017

PERSONAL ESSAY

Muslim girl meets Hindu boy. How our

forbidden love blossomed in Canada.

The epitome of taboo connection. and show them that our partner's religion or
Drastic differences in mentality and outlook 'Beautiful' show of interfaith support wraps skin-colour really does not matter.
are very often brushed aside in South-Asian arms around Halifax mosque It has been a tough road to walk, but the
cultures to maintain the peace and make sure To me, it never mattered that Sai wasn't a reward has been worth it.
children get married to the most socially and Muslim, or that he was dark-skinned or wasn't Canada, and the relative freedom it offers
economically suited spouse. going to be a doctor. What mattered was that he immigrant communities, has played a huge
In Canada, I could quietly end a relationship loved me and respected me for who I was, and role in allowing me to see that I didn't have to be
that, from the outside, looked like a match he respected himself and saw that life was too who I was expected to be. This country has
made in heaven. I could go against culturally short to live according to someone else's given me the space to make my own choices
ingrained expectations and not be punished for expectations. We both saw eye-to-eye and were and take control of my life in every way
it. But my bravery was put to the test when I ready to weather the storm that lay ahead. imaginable - particularly in love.
met and fell in love with Sai. As was to be expected, neither of our 6 oh-so Canadian love stories to warm your
Sai is a Hindu-Indian who, from a Muslim- families were initially pleased with our union. heart this Valentine's Day The life I live today
Pakistani perspective, is the epitome of taboo. My parents would belittle Sai at any would have been unfathomable to my younger
Political and religious strifes in both those opportunity they got. We eventually cut contact self - living, without being married, with a man
countries had made us "the other" in each when things got really bad - an estrangement from a background that goes against
other's cultures. 'When you meet the right that lasted over a year. everything my family, religion and culture
'My bravery was put to the test person you really don't see the religion': Jewish Sai's parents were also less than welcoming taught me. It has been a tough road to walk, but
when I met and fell in love with man, Muslim woman happily married towards me, but because they lived in India and the reward has been worth it.
Some mornings as I kiss Sai while he's
Historically, Indians and Pakistanis have
Sai.' been one people, but geopolitical differences in had little control over what Sai did in Canada, leaving for work, I'll be struck with the
their power over him and his decisions were
BY HINA HUSAIN
the last 70 years have bred hatred and limited. realization that I am fortunate enough to share
animosity for one another that a major
We had to fight with our families to be with
my life with the man of my dreams, to have
I was a 20-year-old sophomore in university. segment of the population continues to uphold. one another and to show them compassion and him come home to me and to be able to build a
met the man of my parents' dreams when I
understanding when all they had for us were
Back in our countries, Sai and I would have
future together with him.
Young and naive, I thought love meant legitimately feared for our lives and our safety sarcastic remarks and empty threats. I am, in every sense of the word, truly
meeting someone who my family would least if our families and communities didn't accept A battle worth fighting blessed./ Courtesy:CBC
resist; someone they'd "approve" of and the relationship. HINA HUSAIN IS AN ASPIRING WRITER FROM
proudly talk about with their relatives back Sai is a Hindu-Indian who, from a Muslim- Today, after more than six years, Sai and I TORONTO FOCUSING ON SOUTH-ASIAN
IMMIGRANT CULTURE.
home in Pakistan. Pakistani perspective, is the epitome of taboo. have managed to bring our families together
My ideal partner would be a Sunni Muslim, In India, interfaith marriage is on the rise
in the upper-middle to rich socio-economic but far from the acceptable norm. In Pakistan,
class, fair-skinned and from a "respectable" honour reigns supreme (even in film!) and
family. Deep down I knew checklist man was major life decisions are made just to avoid
not right for me. I kept this checklist in the back bringing shame to a family. In both countries,
of my mind. It's not something I ever there are still stories of couples like us being
questioned. I just knew deviating from these shunned or even murdered by their own
desirable traits would not sit well with my families for marrying outside the acceptable
loved ones. norms. Some couples have even turned to
But deep down I knew checklist man was not India's "Love Commandos" in desperate times
right for me - no matter how much my family to ensure their safety.
tried to convince me otherwise. A cosmic connection
He wanted to put the expectations of his
parents above everything else and follow the "For couples like us, the price can be very
life path they had laid out for him. I, on the high."
other hand, wanted to explore all that life could But in Canada, we didn't feel afraid.
offer, make my own decisions and see where life We didn't need to sneak around. We could
would lead. love and explore each other freely and openly
After two years of dating the perfect and not be ashamed for wanting to be with the
checklist man, our relationship came to an end. person with whom we shared a cosmic