Page 380 - The model orator, or, Young folks' speaker : containing the choicest recitations and readings from the best authors for schools, public entertainments, social gatherings, Sunday schools, etc. : including recitals in prose and verse ...

Bui; seize some deadiy weapon—
The nearest you can get,
And fiercdy let it fly,
Exclaiming, ‘‘ There, thou monster!
’Tis now thy fate to die!”
When her tones so very grateful
Will repay you for your care,
As she murmurs, L‘ You are very brave,
I really must deelare!?f
And when her friends have gathered round,
Join not in their reproach,
As they in dire amazement find
Twas a terrible cock roach.
M a y C oo p Eli.

HR TRIED TO T E L L HIS W IFE .

I F there is one thing more than another calculated to throw a man
into a gnashing-of-the teeth and tearing-of-the hair condition, it is
his attempt to give the wife of his bosom an account of some
ordinary atTair. He begins with :
Oh, my dear, I must tell you something Jack Burroughs told me.
to-day while------
Where did you sec Jack Burroughs ? answered the wife.
Oli, we went to luncheon together, and------
How did you happen to go to luncheon together?
Well, we didn’t exactly go out together. 1 met Jack at the
restaurant., and-------
What restaurant?
Calloway’s, and Jack — —
How did you happen to goto Calloway's? I thought you always
lunched al Draper’s?
I nearly always do, but 1 just happened to drop into Calloway’s
to-day, along with Jack, and------