Page 413 - The model orator, or, Young folks' speaker : containing the choicest recitations and readings from the best authors for schools, public entertainments, social gatherings, Sunday schools, etc. : including recitals in prose and verse ...

WE ALL KNOW HER.
S H E warbled the soprano with dramatic sensibility,
And dallied with the organ when the organist was sick;
She got up for variety a brand-new church society, and
Spoke with great facility about the new church Uric’:.

She slied great tears of sorrow for the heathen immorality,
And organtzed a system that would open up their eyes ;
In culinary clarity she won great popularity, ;-.'id
Showed her personality in lecturing on pies.

For real unvarnished culture she betrayed a great propensity;
Her Tuesday-talks were famous and her Friday-glimmers great.
She grasped at electricity with mental elasticity
And Icctured with intensity about the marriage state.

But with the calm assurance of her wonderful capacity,
She wouldn’t wash the dishes, but she’d talk all day on rocks;
Atrd while she dwelt on density, or space and its immensity,
With such refined audacity, her mother darned the socks!
T om M ason*

TOO BAD.
N OTIIING to do but work,
Nothing to eat but food,
Nothing to wear but clothes
To keep one from going nude,

Nothing to breathe but ail';
Quick as a dash ’tis gone ;
Nowhere to fall but off.
Nowhere to stand but on.