Page 377 - Total War on PTSD

does not relate to the present. As the Veteran’s life is functionally sound, these symptoms represent historic shards that are surfacing from the recesses of the psyche as the defenses and acting out have been curtailed. Defensive behaviors were — and even can continue to function in — the service of blocking off anxiety, deeper experiences of pain, and traumatic remembering.
Therapy enables Veterans to have profound insights into what has driven many irrational behaviors and other symptoms; more introspection occurs coupled with a sincere assessment of earlier difficulties. Resistance lessens and trust deepens. As the Veteran weathers the pain of remembering, the therapist is a lifeline; the relationship protects the Veteran from falling too far into trauma alone.
Often there is amnesia around significant traumatic events. As traumatic material slowly unveils itself through clues in the present, traumatic elements emerge into consciousness. Many times only fragments reveal themselves; much of the time — embedded material emerges through somatic sensory experiences; a felt sense in the body of an experience — a sheen of sweat, a feeling of suffocated breathing, a strong constriction in the chest that feels new and yet very old. There can be an urge to scream or cry out in the bodywork; as the consciousness deepens, experiences come to light through various physical sensations felt as if in a dream state.
In this process, new parts of the self are built through the Veteran healing the traumatized part by bringing it into consciousness. The newly built and recovered self can more adequately cope with the immense pain and abandonment feeling the Veteran has to face and grieve. So as more of the Veteran is recovered, it affords more confidence to explore other subjective experiences and at times, the amnesia is overcome. For others, amnesia will remain but feelings and expression emerge in bodywork without cognitive anchors; healing occurs though expression of pure feeling. They will say, “I don’t know why I am sobbing,” “I feel terror but I have no memory or image.” “I have a faint sense of being strangled and I feel my throat closing up,” and they may gag repeatedly until the sound releases.
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